


Say It Again

by CJ1027



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-28 16:13:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10135478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CJ1027/pseuds/CJ1027
Summary: Lily finally tells James what she wants.





	

“Well, I’m done being left out to dry, Lily! You snog me and you laugh with me but it’s just not enough for me anymore, all right? You know what I want, and I’m done losing sleep trying to figure out what the hell it is  _you_ want!” James shouted angrily, his eyes tired.

“I want  _you_ , James!” she yelled back before she could even realize what she was admitting. 

He paused, the frustration painted on his face immediately dissolving. Her cheeks began to turn pink, nervous as to where this may take her. A crooked grin broke out on his face, a special one reserved for Lily. She felt her stomach drop, unable to slow down the increasing pace of her heartbeat at the sight of his face. She forced herself to look away. “What did you just say?” he asked, amusement in his voice. 

“Um…you know,” Lily stared, glancing at the ground. “I just remembered I have somewhere I need to be,” she lied pathetically, turning on her heel.

“ _Evans_ ,” he said, grabbing hold of her wrist. When she didn’t move, he moved his hand down from her wrist to her hand, interlacing his fingers with her own. “Look at me, Evans.”

She took a deep breath, moving her body to face him, trying to ignore the lump in her throat as she forced her eyes to meet his, knowing it would lead to her own demise. James laughed at the determination in her face to seem unflustered. “Say it again,” he demanded.

She cleared her throat loudly, narrowing her eyes at him. “You can’t tell me what to do, prat.”

“Well,  _you_ can’t pretend that didn’t just happen,” said James, squeezing her hand. “I’ll sneak into Dumbledore’s office right now and put the memory into the pensieve, and then seal it in a small flask and bring it around with me  _everywhere_  and—“

“Do you ever  _shut up_?”

“If you insist,” James said, smirking, putting his free hand on her cheek, leaning in slowly.

Lily snorted, using her hand to clamp it over his mouth. “Not what I  _meant_ , Potter. I could  _easily_  conjure up a muzzle for you.”

“Kinky—“ 

“James,” she groaned, rolling her eyes. “I  _will_  leave this time.”

He knew she was being serious this time, so he removed his hand from her face and moved it to his hair, ruffling it. He sighed deeply as she let go of his other hand. “Lily, don’t…” He paused, trying to find the right words. Her eyes were searching his face. For what, he wasn’t sure. “Don’t do this to me,” was all he could come up with.

“Do what, James?”

“ _This!_  What you always do, Lily!” he found himself shouting, but he couldn’t keep it dormant any longer. “Make me think maybe, just maybe, I’m not alone in this, and then run off as if it were…a lapse in judgment or some rubbish.”

“You know that’s not true,” she whispered, her cheeks flushed. “You know that.” 

“Do  _you_?” he dared to ask.

She hesitated, biting her lip. “I’m just…confused.”

James scoffed. “Confused, my arse. You’re the one that  _said it.”_

“Well, it’s confusing to me!”

“Enlighten me, Evans, as to why this is confusing to you,” he said, a hint of a chuckle escaping from his lips. 

“Because… Well, it’s just…you confuse me! I don’t know what…what—“ she stammered, looking up at James, who was now laughing. “This isn’t funny,” she spat.

James continued to laugh, then put both of his hands on her face and kissed her. “ _You’re_  funny,” he whispered, before returning his mouth to hers.

She kissed him back, but only for a few moments before her head convinced her to quit it. “James—“

“You  _said_  you wanted to be with me. And you can’t take that back. So why don’t we just get on with it, yeah?” James suggested gently, his hands still on her face, his thumb lightly caressing her cheek. “Please, Lil.”

“Technically,” Lily spoke, trying to remain focused but finding it rather difficult with James touching her. “I said I  _wanted you_. Not to  _be with you_. There’s a difference. I simply just meant I wanted a quick snog.”

“You are so full of bullshit,” he said, laughing. He ran one of his hands through her hair soothingly, and she sighed, falling against James, her head resting against his chest. As much as her brain was telling her to resist, she let herself be held by him. “Lily,” he said, unusually soft, his arm snaking around her waist. “Get out of that neurotic head of yours for just one moment and listen to me. I’m so…sick of this. You know…you know how I feel about you. The only reason I even started that fight and threatened to walk away from this—whatever you want to call this thing we have going on now— is because I was just so tired of…not knowing if you’d ever feel the same way that I do. So please, Evans, don’t put me through hell, here. Don’t say you want to be with me and then withdraw. A poor bloke can only take so much, you know.”

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled against him.

James continued to stroke his fingers through her hair. “Don’t be,” he whispered, kissing the top of her head. “Just, for the love of Merlin, tell me what you’re thinking.” 

She lifted her head and looked up at him. “I’m thinking that I’m scared.” 

“Of what?” he asked desperately.

“You,” she whispered. “How you make me feel. People I…I care about the most tend to hurt me,” she muttered, letting go of him, looking down. He knew she was referring to Petunia and Snape.

“Evans,” he said gently, lifting her chin so she was looking back up at him. “I will  _never_  hurt you. All I’ve ever wanted is to make you happy. Don’t you know that?”

“Yes.”

“Trust me,” he said, moving his hand from her chin to her cheek. “Please, Lily. Stop being so afraid of the unknown. That’s life.”

She surprised him when, after a few moments of thought, she lifted herself up on her toes and pressed a soft kiss against James’s lips. “I can’t promise I’ll be successful,” she started as she removed her lips from his, “but I can try.” 

James’s dazzling smile lit up his entire face, his eyes twinkling behind his spectacles. “Say it again,” he said, nudging her. 

“I can try?” she teased. 

“Not that. You know what.”

“I want  _you_ , James,” she repeated, confidently.

“Please clarify what that means for me. Some might interpret that as just wanting a quick snog—“

“You are making me regret this already.”

“Lil.“ 

“I want to  _be_  with you. I want us to be  _together_. Okay? Good? All settled? Can I leave now—“ James interrupted her by kissing her with all he had, lifting her off the ground as she reciprocated and deepened the kiss.

James returned her to the floor and tore his mouth away for a moment. “You have no where you need to be right now and you know it, you liar,” he stated, and then began to kiss every inch of her face that he could. 

She smiled, closing her eyes and enjoying the swooping sensation in her stomach as James’s lips travelled her face. “You never answered,” she mumbled. 

James pulled his face away, looking at her quizzically. He arched an eyebrow and asked, “Answered what?” 

“You know,” she sighed. “My…proposal.”

He burst into laughter, moving a piece of her hair behind her ear. “You asking me to marry you, Evans?”

“Shut it,” she said, smacking his chest. “You know what I mean. About…you know.”

James continued to chuckle, his eyes filled with adoration. “I didn’t realize it was a question.”

“Well, usually in these situations, it’s a two way decision. I said what I wanted. You didn’t exactly explicitly agree.”

“Am I that hard to read?” he joked, pulling her closer to him. “So what am I agreeing to, exactly? Please remind me. My memory is quite foggy.” 

“You are  _such_  a smartarse,” she scoffed, narrowing her eyes. “I’ve already repeated myself.” 

“Well, get used to saying it. What are you going to say when people start asking questions?”

“What kind of questions?”

“I don’t know, maybe something like: ‘Hey, Evans! Saw you snogging Potter in the corridor today. Are you lot together? He’s super fit, isn’t he? And charming, and bloody fantastic at Quidditch, and have you seen his—‘“

“Slow your roll,” she laughed, taking a step back from him. “One, no one is going to be asking that because no one is going to see us snogging in the corridor because we won’t be snogging in the corridor, just like we haven’t been the past month while we’ve been snogging!”

“You’re no fun. Aren’t you a Gryffindor? Where’s your sense of adventure?”

“Where’s your sense of class?”

“So let’s say you have one slip up—“ 

“I never have any slip ups,” she said, smugly. 

“Work with me here, Lil,” he sighed, rolling his eyes. 

She laughed, squeezing his hand momentarily. “Alright. One slip up.” 

“So what would you say?” 

“I’d say it’s nobody’s business and to bugger off.”

James frowned. “Lily,” he groaned. 

She looked at him, suddenly realizing maybe he did need that reassurance. After all, he did deserve it, after everything they had been through. “I would tell them that you are my boyfriend, and we are together,” she exhaled, blushing. “That is, if you want to be, of course.”

His face shifted back from his frown to a softer expression. “So, the question which you mentioned before, is whether I want to be your boyfriend? Whether I want us to be together? Am I getting this right?” he teased. She nodded. “You know the answer,” he nearly whispered, his tone serious despite the grin beginning to expand from the corners of his mouth. 

“Well, I gave you the courtesy of saying it out loud, didn’t I?” she pointed out, smiling back at him. “I want to hear it, too.”

He looked at her mischievously, smiling wider. “I’m going to turn this around.” 

“Er…what?” 

“Do you know how many times I’ve done this with you?” he asked, laughing. “And how many rejections I’ve received? And suddenly you’re standing here asking me? No, no… It’s got to be me. Let me do this right. Let it just play out right, for once.” 

Still confused, Lily nodded and said slowly, “Okay.” 

James grabbed both of her hands, intertwining their fingers together. He looked into her eyes, getting lost for just a moment. The grin on his face was practically blinding. He took a deep breath and then said, “Go out with me, Evans?” 

Lily rolled her eyes, snickering as she took in the look on his face. For once in his life, he looked innocent, and despite his smile, somewhat nervous. She inched herself closer to him. “Alright. I’ll go out with you, Potter.”

“Really?”

“Really,” she laughed.

He waited a moment. And then, “Thank Merlin,” James exhaled, before crashing his lips against hers, removing his hands from hers and cupping her face as she kissed him back, sighing against his mouth.

They stood in the middle of his room, wrapped up in their kiss for quite some time. Both a little dizzy and disoriented, Lily pulled her mouth away for a moment. “Let’s do this on on your bed,” she breathed against his cheek. “I feel like I might fall down if I have to stand any longer.” 

He smirked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, although his eyes were glazed. She pushed him lightly, snorting. “Oh, quit it, will you? I’m just talking about snogging, git.”

“Mhm,” James nodded, stifling a laugh. He took her hand and led them to his four-poster. They sat down, and James couldn’t stop himself from blurting out, “You have no idea how bloody happy I am right now. All because of you.” 

She grinned, blushing, noting the striking sincerity in his voice. She squeezed his hand, an unspoken reassurance that she felt the same way. Just as James leaned in and began kissing her again, the door swung violently open.

“Prongs, where the hell is the map—“

James and Lily broke apart, James slowly turning his head to Sirius, who had just stopped talking mid-sentence, as Lily buried her head into his shoulder, mortified. 

Sirius smirked, raising his eyebrows. “Well, I knew you guys had been sneaking around snogging, but our dormitory, where any of us could walk in at anytime at all, doesn’t exactly scream the ideal place for sneaking around.”

“Who said we were sneaking around?” James said quickly, chuckling, rubbing Lily’s back. “No one is sneaking!”

“So what would you call this, exactly?” Sirius asked pointedly, wiggling his eyebrows. 

James poked Lily. “Why don’t you answer that one, Lil? You’ve been practicing this answer all afternoon!”

Lily groaned.

 


End file.
